Pinned toot

Sometimes I think the role of art is to justify our obsession with it while the world around us avoidably fucking bites it.

Having a hard time figuring out why I feel so off, but I think I've cracked it, and it's pretty obvious. Visa stuff keeps me in a permanent state of imbalance and uncertainty, like when you're just about to jump a gap and you're trying to think of everything that could go wrong. Been like this for months.

Hypervigilance is exhausting and no doubt boring for others to hear about.

Working away from my team for so long is tough. There's an end in sight but I'm regularly having to stop wild trains of thought to reassure myself that it's all going to be OK.

I can't tell if my mind is particularly cruel to me about these things, or if this situation is low key really gruelling. Possibly both.

A few people have mentioned how impressed they are with how I'm coping with it. That immediately tells me that this is considered hard. So. Something to be a bit proud of?

There are good days. There are bad days. Today was neither good nor bad.

I'm not fully bipolar or anything but fuck me I do love a basic day.

Petulance Show more

Bad Mood Show more

Bad Mood Show more

There's a lot of doomsayers on the unity announcement.

Don't let me get in their way.

Tired of being tired to the point where I'm wondering if something is wrong with me. But that's normal.

Actually now worrying about how that's normal.

Yet another hard lesson to learn. I keep getting ahead of myself with code. If I was more pragmatic/pedantic about testing every little part I would save myself day long bug chases/hacks to fix things.

God I still have so much to learn.

Watch out, kids: Vector3.SignedAngle doesn't flatten the input vectors against the axis, as you'd expect.

Like, sure why would it? I just made a bad assumption.

Everything takes longer than you think or hope it would oh fuck including this sentance.

You can buy chewable gummy vitamin supplements here in the States.

Health kick incoming!

Possibly more of a health binge!

Sometimes I think the role of art is to justify our obsession with it while the world around us avoidably fucking bites it.

Supercut of me saying "someone should do a super cut of [some cliche I just noticed]"

(This week it's "troubled soul trashes room to show inner conflict")

Did something cool today, but it's been a long time coming.

I know I shouldn't wrap up my self worth in my ability to do the things, but, it's still nice to stick the landing once in a while.

Trying to put together this hyper-resume stuff for an exceptional alien visa and, it's like judgement day in my brain.

I'm so naturally compelled to undersell myself exactly because the process of trying to sell myself feels like catching my reflection in a hall of mirrors and all of them are unflattering.

I sound like a totally self obsessed narcissist.

I feel the need to announce how gross it feels to offset the ego-centrism of the process.

Orange boy joke/true story Show more

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